


How Long

by Stormchild



Series: Extreme Behavior [2]
Category: Young Justice
Genre: F/M, Kaldur-centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormchild/pseuds/Stormchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As much as they liked to pretend, Roy and Kaldur’s relationship wasn’t what it used to be. The once-comforting silences became awkward and painful. Roy immersed himself in his search for Speedy and drugs. There was no space in his life for Kaldur anymore.</p><p>Koy one-shot, inspired by/based on How Long by Hinder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Long

Most of Kaldur’s favourite memories involve Roy. He remembers how they could sit together while Kaldur studied and Roy worked on his bows. It had been a good balance. They could do their own thing, enjoying the company of the other. The TV would be on, and Roy might chatter aimlessly to fill the silence. 

Sometimes, Kaldur would give little displays of sorcery, usually a show of hydrokinetics. Roy’s favourite - and his by association - had been the small, liquid mouse that ran across the coffee table. The trail of water it had left along the table provided enough conduction for the mouse to give Roy’s finger an electric kiss. Roy had laughed so hard he cried, and Kaldur never forgot that sound.

Kaldur never expected to hear Roy laugh again. It had always been a rare sound, though more common around Kaldur than anyone else. But Roy found out the truth about himself, and everything fell apart. Kaldur tried so hard to be strong. To be the man Roy needed. 

As much as they liked to pretend, Roy and Kaldur’s relationship wasn’t what it used to be. The once-comforting silences became awkward and painful. Roy immersed himself in his search for Speedy and drugs. There was no space in his life for Kaldur anymore.

So, he left. He left because they were broken. He couldn’t breathe around Roy any more. His anger and self-loathing was suffocating. Sometimes, Kaldur thought Roy could smother him with a pillow and he’d prefer it to the drug-induced animosity that filled the room until Kaldur couldn’t breathe. He was sure Roy would never forgive him. But he’d promised Roy that he would help bring down the Light, to make them pay for what they’d done to him.

Lying back on his bed, hands covering his face, Kaldur reminded himself that he was doing this for Roy. He wanted to bring the Light down for Roy. Everything he was doing, all the horrible things he was forced to do, he was doing for Roy. For the man he loved. For the man who had loved him. He thought, if he could bring down the Light then maybe they could fix things between them. Maybe he could feel Roy’s arms around him again, feel Roy’s lips against his. 

That thought, of being with Roy again, was the only thing that kept him going. There was a thin hope that maybe Roy would wait for him. But Roy had been getting cruel. His words had become gradually more sharp, cutting through even Kaldur’s dense skin. He’s tired of bandaging himself up. If Roy wouldn’t take him back after this… after Kaldur sacrificed everything for him, to bring him the peace and closure he cried for… then Kaldur would find a way to live without him.

But then he hears about Jade. And he wonders how he’d never heard about it before now. Because now, Roy has a baby. He has a baby with her. It breaks Kaldur’s heart on so many levels. He wants so badly to hold that baby, to see what she looks like. He wonders how much that baby looks like Roy.

And how much it looks like Jade. Not that he thinks Roy will let him close enough to see her. Not after ‘killing’ his sister-in-law. Not after leaving him the way he did. He knows he fucked up. But Roy married Jade. Cheshire. The assassin they had worked together to stop. He married her.

Kaldur tries to make himself forget about Roy. But everything makes him think of the archer he’d left behind. And it hurts so much. When he closes his eyes, he pictures them together. He doesn’t mean to. But it just happens. He imagines her nails raking down Roy’s back, their hips pressing together, his mouth on her neck. It makes him hot in too many ways at once. It makes him want to punch a wall and slide his hand down into his pants. 

There’s no way they can fix anything anymore. Not if Jade’s involved. Even if Roy forgives him, Jade never will. He doesn’t know how much influence she has in his life. But Artemis says Jade got him clean, brought Speedy home. So he imagines that Roy is more partial to her than himself right now.

He tries not to be angry with her. He has no right. He’s the one who left. But it’s easier said than done. Even Artemis can sense his anger. But it’s not just targeted towards Jade. It’s Roy, too. How could Roy believe Kaldur would betray him so easily? Did Roy think so little of him? How could Roy think so little of him? He loved Roy. They loved each other.

Except Kaldur isn’t sure that Roy still loves him. And he wishes that he can stop loving Roy. But he can’t. His feelings for Tula pale in comparison to how he feels for Roy. It’s only because of Roy that he ever got over her.

And he thinks, how is he ever going to get over Roy?

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at mechanicalpoet.tumblr.com.


End file.
